I haven’t been loving enough. I say I’m a composer, but how many hours have I spent composing in the last week? One and a half, actually. I say I’m a vocalist, but how many hours did I spend practicing my art? I’ve been performing in a show this month, so that mandates some singing time, but outside of that . . . ahem, nada. Before singing and composing I aspired to be an artist, but how’s that coming along? It’s been weeks since I took up a brush. These are some of the great loves of my life, but I’m not giving them my love, because I’m not giving them my time.

To be fair to myself:

1. I made a conscious decision to lay everything aside but my health this last Summer. I’m currently trying to learn pilates and cross train with biking, hiking, gardening or what have you. I’m actually writing about this for Classical Singer Magazine over the next few months and it’s great to have this writing assignment as an extra measure of incentive (especially now that Dixie is busy in school again).
2. When Fall came and Dixie went back to teaching, I had an opportunity to play a lead in a local production of Footloose and I took it (this is the last week of the show). Though I’m glad I did it, being in a musical was much more time consuming than I remembered (its been 20+ years since I was in Damn Yankees, Oliver and Fiddler).
3. I also agreed to be the new director of the American Fork Children’s Choir, starting in September - something I didn’t feel at all prepared for, so I dove in and spent a lot of time learning about teaching kids to sing and constructing a curriculum. Come to find out (with all that prep), I’m really good at teaching children’s choir, so the heavy pressure I was feeling about that is greatly relieved.
4. Finally, I’ve been managing a number of online projects, including this blog and a new web magazine called LDS Music Universe (the first issue will come out on November 1st).

All excuses aside. I’m neglecting some things that I think should be at the core of my life. What’s getting in the way now that things are starting to feel a little more calm? The INTERNET.

It is so easy to get sidetracked by the internet. I’m not even talking about games, or social media, or online video. I’m talking about managing a web presence and corresponding with people. There’s always something you can tweak on your website (and I have a few of them). There’s always someone you can contact about a project you are working on. There’s always something to read about how to live your dream or be more productive or get more traffic. These are pretty good things actually, but what it all boils down to is this: There’s always something you can do on the internet that requires less psychic effort than actually doing the important, loving, creative work that should be at the core of all your activity.

• THE INTERNET IS ICING

It is not the meat and potatos. It is not the salad greens. It is not even the cake. If I go to the internet first, the important work just isn’t going to get done. The internet is great for communication, just like icing is a great way for a piece of cake to say, “Hey, come have a bite of me. I’m really yummy.” But icing by itself? Ick. Blech. Some people like it. Just like some people like to fritter their lives away playing “world of warcraft” (says the ex-game-addict).

There is no content to the internet without the creative work, just an empty shell. When I crawl into this empty shell as a way of avoiding the more difficult creative work, I am left feeling completely hollow. What to do about it? Here’s my plan:

1. I’ve identified seven areas in my life that are very important to me: love, the gospel, health, performance, composition, art and writing.
2. I’ve gone to Joe’s Goals and set up my page to track these seven areas. I’m also keeping a food and exercise journal.
3. Before I can log into my gmail account, facebook or my RSS reader, I must complete my goals for the day. Period.

Simple? Check. Difficult? Check. Worth it? Check.

If you find the internet as distracting as I do, maybe it’s time for some self-intervention. Adapt the plan above or come up with your own, because Love really does equal Time, and aren’t there some things you’d like to give some more love to?

I’m actually just wrapping up my first day of goal tracking (my hour of writing) with this blog post. I’ll be adding a goal tracker to the side bar soon.

Update: Ack! I’ve had to modify my plan. I’ve decided to check email once for urgent messages in the morning and then not log in again until I’ve completed my daily goals. I’ve made this adjustment for my peace of mind.

Update: Though I’m no longer using the above said plan, I am finding I spend less time internetting and more time being creative/performing/etc. – so the break was good for me and helped me in giving more love to some of the important things in my life.

Post filed under music, art and life.